The woman is a “no-name.” Obviously, her name is not important. We read the account of this woman in Proverbs 7:10-23. It is not a pleasant account, nor is it a pleasant topic. Nevertheless, it is addressed in the Bible because it is necessary. This sad story has been repeated frequently across generations. It is clear that, in the language of the New Testament, this is an unbelieving woman.

Nevertheless, the text also has a message for those who belong to the Lord Jesus. On the one hand, we can see in the woman an image of this world that wants to captivate us (the believers) (the “strange woman” in the Book of Proverbs often symbolizes the world in its attraction to the old nature in us). On the other hand, this text has a direct meaning and speaks of a seductive woman and a sinful relationship. In this second sense, let us allow the text to speak to us. We will see how relevant it is in our sexualized world.

“And behold, a woman came toward him in a harlot’s apparel and with a hidden heart. She is passionate and unrestrained;her feet do not remain in her house; soon she is outside, soon on the streets, and lurking around every corner. – And she seized him and kissed him, and with a brazen face she said to him: Peace offerings were incumbent upon me, today I have paid my vows; therefore I went out to meet you, to seek your face, and I have found you … She seduced him with her many words, carried him away with the smoothness of her lips. Suddenly, he followed her, like an ox going to the slaughter, and like fetters serving to chastise the fool, until an arrow pierces his liver; like a bird rushing to the snare, not knowing that it is his life at stake.”

There is no question that there are two main characters in this story: a woman and a young man. The man is just as responsible for his behavior as the woman. He should not have put himself in danger. Like Joseph, he should have fled. Nevertheless, it becomes clear from the text that the woman takes an active role in the events described and thus bears her share of the blame.

While the Bible‘s account of this evil woman may initially appeal to female readers, the passage has something to say to all readers. Let us take note of the following points and reflect on them:

1. The woman wears the clothes of a prostitute: Through her clothing, she tries to attract the young man’s attention – and she succeeds. Hopefully, every woman realizes that her clothing and other attire send signals to men. It does not have to be the clothing of a prostitute. Nevertheless, the question remains:how a woman dresses. A short skirt can be just as inappropriate as skin-tight pants or a tight, crop top. Most men are visually stimulated and react to external stimuli differently than a woman (hopefully) intends. A woman’s clothing can evoke in a man sinful thoughts and feelings. Clothing should be neither sexy nor repulsive, but decent. Paul sums it up as follows: “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with modest apparel, with modesty and sobriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothing” (1 Tim. 2:9). This statement speaks for itself. A woman who dresses this way is acting responsibly.
2. The woman has a hidden heart: it suggests she is not honest. She has dishonest intentions. She feigns affection and love, even though she is interested in something completely different. Women and menmust treat each other openly, honestly, and with relaxation. The other person should know where they stand. Acting in the company of others is always bad, especially when it comes to people of different sexes. True affection and love between a man and a woman belong in marriage and are reserved exclusively for the spouse.
3. The woman is passionate and unrestrained: True love plays no role in this short episode. It is about physical passion and lust. It is about satisfying urges and nothing else. Paul calls this “being one body” in a derogatory way in 1 Corinthians 6:16, but that is exactly what God does not want. In marriage – and exclusively in marriage – man and woman should not only be “one body” but “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “One flesh” encompasses the whole person, i.e., spirit, soul, and body. “One flesh,” on the other hand, has to do with physical pleasure, in which love plays no role. It is God’s express will that we do not engage in (sexual) relations with one another “in the passion of lust,” but in “holiness and honor” (1 Thessalonians 4:4-5). When love is reduced to passion and lust, it is not real love. The example from Proverbs 7 shows that this advice is not only important for men.
4. Her feet do not stay at home; she lurks around every corner and on the streets. Here, we see a woman actively “hunting for men.” She does not wait for something to happen, but makes it happen herself. And it is not a matter of initiating a marital relationship, but of breaking her own marriage. It’s about an affair. She is married and does not shy away from cheating on her husband, who is away on business. She knows exactly how she wants to proceed. The young man, obviously unmarried and inexperienced, seems to be easy prey for her. The danger of falling for such a woman is always great, whether a man is young or older.
5. She takes hold of him and kisses him: The tender (and particularly sexually stimulating) touch of a woman—and this undoubtedly includes an (intimate) kiss—triggers certain reactions in almost every man, which can be described as “dancing on a volcano.” The woman in Proverbs 7 has calculated this reaction precisely. But this does not always have to be intentional. Men – or women – can unconsciously provoke reactions that they did not want at all. It is therefore important for every woman to bear this in mind when dealing with men. The same applies to men. Of course, not all touching is the same, and not all kisses are the same. Nevertheless, caution is advised, as it is all too easy to unintentionally trigger something in the other person. As a general rule, sexually stimulating affection should only take place within marriage.
6. She speaks to him with a brazen face: There is nothing wrong with people of different sexes communicating with each other. But the question remains: what kind of interaction do we have, what do we exchange with each other, and how does it happen? The woman in Proverbs 7 seduced the young man into immorality with her words. She sweet-talked him into going with her. Suggestive talk is always harmful and must therefore be avoided. This also applies to communication on social media. A digital text is quickly written. At first, the texts may be harmless. But then they become increasingly ambiguous. People think they are “anonymous” on the internet in a certain sense. They don’t see each other. They feel protected. That’s why they communicate in a way that they (probably) wouldn’t talk to each other directly. And in the end? Faster than expected, a relationship is established that God does not want. There are plenty of examples of this!
7. She seduces and tempts him: The woman’s entire behavior and speech ultimately lead the young man to his downfall. Once again: The man remains 100% responsible. He had put himself in the danger zone (vv. 6-9). But the woman’s responsibility remains as well. Neither can blame the other. When boundaries are crossed, as a rule, both (man and woman) are to blame.

Paul writes that everything in the Old Testament was written for our instruction (Rom. 15:4). This also applies to Proverbs 7. Therefore, let us allow this text to speak to us and draw our own conclusions from it.