Forgiveness — Difficult, but Possible
Colossians 3:13
"Bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do."Ephesians 4:32
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."Luke 17:4
"And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him."Matthew 18:21-35
"Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?'
Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.
The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, "Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all."
Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, "Pay me what you owe!"
So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, "Have patience with me, and I will pay you all."
And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.
Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, "You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?"
And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.'"
Asking for forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More and forgiving—both can be very difficult. In His parableA parable is a pictorial representation of messages that are not directly stated and require interpretation. God already used parables in the Old Testament to convey messages to his people... More of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35), the Lord Jesus addresses the second problem. He makes it clear that if the “God of forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More” has forgiven us an incredible amount, we should also be prepared to do the same for our fellow brothers and sisters. Some basic thoughts on this topic:
- God has forgiven us an infinite amount—represented by the 10,000 talents (343 tons, according to the silver price as of 2024: 350 million USD). In comparison, the debt that someone owes us is much smaller (in the parableA parable is a pictorial representation of messages that are not directly stated and require interpretation. God already used parables in the Old Testament to convey messages to his people... More, 100 denarii = 100 days' wages). A huge difference.
- The yardstick is—as so often—God himself. The following passages, among others, speak of His boundless and complete forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More: PsalmPsalm simply means "song." In the Old Testament, this word only occurs in connection with the Psalms of David and the Book of Psalms. Singers sang a psalm with instrumental... More 103:12; Isaiah 38:17; Micah 7:19; Hebrews 10:17. A perfect model for us, as Ephesians 4:32 says: “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in ChristA title of the Lord Jesus, which is also used as an epithet; Messiah (Hebrew) and Christ (Greek) mean "anointed one". The title refers to the fact that Jesus is... More forgave you.”
- We should not make the other person's “splinter” bigger than our “beam.” Those who are aware of the extent to which they have perhaps already sinned against their fellow brothers and sisters will also be milder when they are hurt or disappointed. Proverbs 19:11: “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.” This verse also helps us not to see everything as an act for which forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More is needed: someone didn't say hello to us when we were shopping, forgot our birthday, made a careless remark, etc.? Perhaps none of it was intentional.
- Who does forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More help? By forgiving, the forgiver “helps” two people: the person asking for forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More and themselves.
- The one who asks for forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More: That person is freed from feelings of guilt, which can otherwise be a terrible torment. With feelings of guilt, one can hardly enjoy fellowship with the Lord. So, if I withhold forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More, I end up keeping the person in this sad state.
- Yourself: Not forgiving fosters bitterness on the one hand, and on the other, it also strains my own relationship with the Lord. If He asks me to forgive and I do not comply, I cannot possibly be happy. This is the practical application of the “tormentors” (Matthew 18:34) who torment the soul of the unmerciful.
- At what point do I seek a conversation with the person who has hurt me (Mt. 18:15)? For every little thing? Does humility perhaps require me to swallow things? This is certainly not an easy question to answer, but perhaps Matthew 5:23-24 can help: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altarPlace of sacrifice, i.e., place where a sacrifice is made. The Old Testament knows both the personal erection and use of an altar (usually made of earth or stones) and... More, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altarPlace of sacrifice, i.e., place where a sacrifice is made. The Old Testament knows both the personal erection and use of an altar (usually made of earth or stones) and... More, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” If the matter that has occurred puts a strain on my relationship with the Lord (or that of the brother/sister with the Lord) and, as in the example, makes worshipIn both Hebrew and Greek, the word "worship" can also be translated as "prostrate / bow down" (Ps 95:6). It is more than praise and thanksgiving because, in worship, honor... More difficult, a conversation is necessary. It is then not about your own honor but about the honor of the Lord.
- Is there a limit? The Lord says: “And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him” (Lk. 17:4). It is inconceivable to forgive a brother when he has already committed the same sinThe Bible carefully differentiates between sin and sins. • Sin: the evil power at work in man that causes him to engage in sinful activities (Rom 7:17, 18). God pronounced... More against me seven times in one day. But this is precisely the standard that ChristA title of the Lord Jesus, which is also used as an epithet; Messiah (Hebrew) and Christ (Greek) mean "anointed one". The title refers to the fact that Jesus is... More sets here. No limits. If He does this, we can be sure that He can also help us to keep to it.
- What if there is never a confession? Can the “injured party” ever be set free? Perhaps an example from the life of the Lord can be used here. We read of Him that He, “who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously” (1 Pet. 2:23). So, He handed the matter over to God. It was probably for this reason that He prayed on the cross: “Father, forgive them” (Lk. 23:34). No one there had asked Him for forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More. But the Lord Jesus reveals something here that I would like to call an attitude of forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More: the willingness to forgive. For us: “I forsake all resentment and anger and forgive the person now, even if they have not yet asked for it.” This sets the injured party's heart free.
- In what attitude should we forgive? “From my heart” (Mt. 18:35). Not reluctantly, but gladly, not “disappointed” because we cannot let the other person stew with guilt.
- What is the goal of forgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More? To win the brother (Mt. 18:15). ForgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More puts an end to bitterness, tormenting feelings of guilt, destroyed trust, a strained friendship, a disturbed relationship with the Lord, etc. ForgivenessIn Scripture, forgiveness is presented to us from two points of view. • The side of God: God’s thoughts towards the sinner whom he forgives. On the basis of Christ’s... More reflects the great miracle of Golgotha.
“... bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as ChristA title of the Lord Jesus, which is also used as an epithet; Messiah (Hebrew) and Christ (Greek) mean "anointed one". The title refers to the fact that Jesus is... More forgave you, so you also must do.” (Colossians 3:13)
