Inner Conflict

“Now is my soul troubled. And what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’?” (John 12:27)

The closer the Son of God got to Jerusalem, the greater became the shadow of the cross that fell on His pathway. The sufferings of anticipating what was to happen to Him there at Golgotha increased more and more. On the one hand, He shied away from coming into contact with sin and being forsaken by God, for sin was something foreign to His Being. On the other hand, He wanted to do the will of His Father at all costs—and save us from eternal ruin. In prayer He expresses the inner distress as well as the understandable desire to be saved from this hour. In view of the cross, there was only One Who could truly understand Him—and that was His Father, Who went with Him to Calvary. To Him He turned and opened His heart.

We cannot compare our hardships with what was before the soul of the Son of God on the way to Calvary. Nevertheless, we learn some basic things from the words He said to His Father in prayer.

You may find yourself in situations where you don’t know what to pray for. What do you do then? It is precisely in such circumstances that you can pour out your heart to God and tell Him how you feel and what is going on inside you. You may also pray that God will have mercy on you, for example, by releasing you from serious hardships. He doesn’t promise to answer your prayer in this way, but He assures you that His peace, which nothing can shake, will then preserve your heart (see Phil. 4:6).

Often God is more glorified when, instead of changing circumstances, He gives us the grace and mercy we need to honor Him in the midst of circumstances through trust and perseverance! Paul pleaded three times at the throne of grace for the Lord to remove the thorn in the flesh that was given to him. But the Son of God was pursuing a higher goal. He explained to His servant that instead of changing the circumstances, He would give sufficient grace for the Apostle toserve Him in weakness (see 2 Cor. 12:9–10). At the throne of grace there is both mercy and grace. God gives both fortimely help—for He never arrives too late!

Sometimes we are so overwhelmed by the suffering that sin has brought into this world that we no longer really know what and how to pray. But it is precisely then that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us Himself with groanings too deep for words—and God can understand these sighs perfectly (see Rom. 8:26). Our Lord Himself wept at the tomb of Lazarus andsighed deeply in spirit (see John 11:33). Even if you find yourself in a situation where you are so depressed that you no longer know how to pray, you can still be sure of one thing, “that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Rom. 8:28)!

When was the last occasion you took the time to really tell God all the issues that are on your mind (see Phil. 4:6), casting all your burdens and worries on Him (see Ps. 55:22; 1 Pet. 5:7)? How often do you pray that God will change circumstances, and how often does He change you through the circumstances? Trust that God, has good intentions with every affliction that He allows and that He will give you all the grace you need to honor Him in difficult trials!