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Question: Purity in Relationships?

Published since 07. Nov. 2025
Bible passages:
1 Thes. 5:22; Jas. 1:27; 1 Cor. 5:9-11; 2 Cor9. 6:14; 2 Tim. 2:21

1 Thessalonians 5:22
"Abstain from every form of evil."

James 1:27
"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

1 Corinthians 5:9-11
"I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters; since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person."

2 Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

2 Timothy 2:21
"Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work."

Question:

After my conversion, I understood that God wanted me to live a holy life. I want to stay away from sin and not have any sinful contacts. Am I defiling myself if I have contact with my colleagues outside of work? What about Christians who go to a church where false teachings are advocated? Are they false teachers? I don't understand what the Bible says about this.

_______________

Answer:

The holiness of God and His claim to us to be holy are central issues for every believer. God calls us to this: "Be holy, for I am holy" (1 Peter 1:16). And you are quite right: not only should you not sin yourself, but it is also about how you relate to the sins of other people and these people personally. However, these different constellations must also be kept apart – you can't lump everything together. Let me try to juxtapose the most important statements that the Bible offers on this topic.

 

  • Keeping Away from Evil (1 Thes. 5:22) 

This is evil behavior, a sin that one does or that happens – one is to keep away from it, one is not to sin oneself, and one is not to sin with others or support the sins of others. A similarly general formulation is the renunciation of unrighteousness (2 Tim. 2:19).

Example: A classmate "creates" a joint presentation by "copying and pasting" from the Internet; a work colleague falsifies a timesheet or business trip receipt – I don't do that myself, and I don't make common cause with others. God's holiness does not only require us to avoid sin. Since no one succeeds in this, sin must be removed from my life when it occurs. I then confess it to God, who gladly forgives it (1 John 1:9).

 

  • Keeping Myself Unspotted from the World (Jas. 1:27)

Have no friendship with the world and do not love the world (Jas. 4:4; 1 Jn. 2:15): In dealing with the world – which is unavoidable – do not defile yourself, i.e., do not sin yourself, and also do not befriend the methods and values in force in the world.

Example: In the world, people like to use their "elbows"; I don't want to succumb to the temptation to take advantage of others, to be unfair, to use my influence. There are immoral temptations from advertising, the Internet, etc. – I don't want to give in to them and sin in thought or deed.

 

  • Not Asociating with the Wicked (1 Cor. 5:9, 11)

This is about wicked persons who must be excluded from the assembly because they are fornicators, etc. – I am not to associate with them. This expressly refers only to those who profess to be "brothers" or "sisters" but not to those who are in the world. It is similar to false teachers in the narrow sense of 2 John v. 11, whom we should not greet because otherwise, we will be partakers of their evil works.

Example: If someone has been expelled from the congregation for adultery, I will no longer meet with him and will not seek a conversation with him when I meet him. According to the Bible, I am not allowed to greet a Jehovah's Witness who does not confess that Christ is the eternal Son of God.

 

  • Not Being in an Unequal Yoke with Unbelievers (2 Cor. 6:14)

Here, as the term "yoke" suggests, it is a matter of joint, closely connected, interdependent, and purposeful action. A believer should not enter into such relationships with an unbeliever (it is different if someone converts from an existing relationship – 1 Cor. 7 deals with this).

Example: A believer and an unbeliever start a company together, or a believer marries an unbeliever.

In general, as the following verses show, "light" is not compatible with "darkness" – there can be no fellowship/cooperation/agreement. This applies to all relationships in which an inner agreement, a harmony is necessary that goes beyond normal professional/social contacts (cf. 1 Cor. 5:10: otherwise we would have to go out of the world; chapter 10:27: we can eat with unbelievers) and which do not serve the task of bearing witness to the Lord and maintaining contacts for this purpose. The Lord will show what this means in concrete terms in each case; there are no general limits.

 

  • Cleansing Away from Vessels unto Dishonor (2 Tim. 2:21)

In the house of God – the realm of Christian confession – there are both unbelievers and believers, and among the believers, both those who are to God's glory and those who are to His dishonor. Cleansing myself from the latter makes me a "vessel" for honor, sanctifies me, makes me useful to the master of the house, and prepares me for every good work. This "cleansing away" can take very different forms in individual cases.

Example: I will hardly involve a fellow brother who deliberately does not want to acknowledge the Bible as God's Word in a joint Bible study. Suppose I am in a church where, for example, contrary to 1 Corinthians 14:34 and 2 Timothy 2:12, the preaching ministry of women has been decided. It is practiced, and where conversations show that this should not be abandoned, I will pray about whether I should leave it in order to join others who "call on the Lord out of a pure heart" (v. 22).

Other cases of limited fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters are turning away from someone who causes discord and offense (Rom. 16:17) or not associating with someone who does not work out of laziness and is a burden to his fellow brothers and sisters – but here there should still be a brotherly relationship (2 Thes. 3:14, 15).

In this topic, it is important to see that shunning evil and the resulting restriction of our dealings with people who are evil or do evil is only one – so to speak, the "negative" side of the coin. The other side is that I look for the positive. I rejoice in the truth; I do good, and I seek fellowship with like-minded Christians and with Christ Himself. At the same time, this means that I do not become arrogant when I try to be holy for God. I don't get a halo when I try to avoid sin. There is nothing elitist about limiting my contact with the people mentioned above. I do not cultivate the illusion of being better than others. I am very aware that I am cut from the same cloth as everyone else; the difference between me and unbelievers is not that I have or do not sin, but that God's grace forgives my sins. The difference between believers who live in sin and me is not my faithfulness but God's grace. And towards believers who have a different understanding of biblical truth than I do, I do not presume to have a lease on the truth. Still, I do behave according to what I have recognized as truth before God – even if it means restricting fellowship and contact in extreme cases. Ultimately, it's simply about consecrating my whole life to God – who demands it of me: be holy because I am holy.

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