Question: How Do I Control my Sexual Drive?

Marriage & Family

9¶How can a young man keep his way pure?

By keeping it according to Your word.

– Psalm 119:9

9And if your eye is causing you to sin, tear it out and throw it away from you. It is better for you to enter life with one eye, than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fiery hell.

– Matthew 18:9

Sexual feelings are completely normal. These feelings usually appear for the first time during the teenage years. Sexuality was designed by God and has nothing to do with sin. However, in our sex-obsessed culture, sexuality is misused for sinful things. Whether it’s television or movies, advertising or even fashion: there is a sensual overload everywhere today, which doesn’t make things any easier, and that doesn’t just apply to young people. So if you have sexual sensations or feelings, this is completely normal at first, and God loves you as you are, with these sensations; He has given them to you.

However, it is important to deal with these feelings in the right way, and like everything in life, this needs to be learned. It is good, even very good, that you are looking for an answer to this question and, above all, that you are looking for it in the Word of God. So let’s take a look at some biblical aspects that can help you on your way.

Some biblical assistance for escaping lustful temptations

  • Your deep desire should be to want to live a truly Christian lifestyle. Erwin W. Lutzer says: “Fellowship with God is the best prevention against lust.”
  • Avoid places where you know that evil lust is aroused, for example shop window displays, advertising, shelves with salacious magazines, certain television programs, etc. If your route to school or work takes you directly past dirty places, consider whether there is another way. If the internet is a danger, then only use the PC in the presence of others (parents, siblings) or put the PC in the living room. If television is a danger, only watch it in the presence of others (parents, older siblings) or preferably not at all. No TV in your own room. Remove all literature, pictures and other media with seductive content from your home. You might choose the mountains rather than the beach for your vacation. If video is a danger: don’t get those videos, cancel your netflix subscription if necessary. In our opinion, this is what is meant by the verse “If your eye offends you, pluck it out”. If we don’t take radical action on these things, we need not be surprised if we fall. And it is very serious to bear in mind that the verse continues: “It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire” (Mt 18:9).
  • If there is a danger of sexual lust being aroused, then remember biblical passages, for example Ephesians 4:27; James 1:14.15 4:7; 1 Peter 5:8.9; Hebrews 4:15.16; 12:2.
  • Confide in a trustworthy person and talk to them regularly about your problems.
  • Maintain regular prayer, and pray when temptation happens. Try to recognize the temptation in the bud and start praying, then the devil will flee. But if you allow your thoughts to go on, you will fall (see James 1:14, 15). Regular fellowship with other brothers and sisters, especially those who bring you closer to the Lord.
  • Seek distraction. Active distractions such as cold showers, jogging or playing tennis can effectively redirect a person’s thoughts. However, sport should not become a “substitute drug”. Better still is to engage in Christian work.
  • Try to remember in which situations you are most at risk and try to take countermeasures.
  • If you also stumble, no matter how often, confess your guilt to God, ask for forgiveness, pray for future victory and lean on the Word of God. Thank God that He is rich in forgiveness; see 1 John 1:9; 2:1-3 and Matthew 18:21-23.
  • Remember how men of faith overcame temptation, for example Joseph (Genesis 39:7-16) or Job (Job 31:1). Look at the Lord when He was tempted by the devil for forty days in the desert. He always answered with the word of God: “It is written.” This can also be a help to us by knowing the Word of God well.
  • Never occupy yourself with yourself and your sin, but occupy yourself much with the Lord Jesus. Occupy yourself with what He did here, how He lived, how He loved people, how He loves you, how the Father loves Him and what He is now in glory.

“How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.” (Psalm 119:9)

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